A very wise man once told me that criticism is good as long as it is not negative. Everyone likes a compliment but how we handle criticism could be based on our own culture.
The difference between the Israeli culture and the Brazilian is quite remarkable. Typically, Israelis do not handle criticism well. Given the “fight or flight” scenario, an Israeli will usually pick fight.
The Brazilian reaction to criticism is quite different. They love a good compliment but try and throw some constructive criticism their way: forget it. Their armor shields go up and they will try to convince you that your criticism is wrong.
In most established restaurants in Israel, at some point during the meal, the waiter or waitress will ask you how well you enjoyed the meal. Confident that they will receive the typical positive response they are ill prepared for criticism. If you respond with the ever so slightest negativity about the food you automatically put your server on the defensive, or the “fight” scenario.
The following was an actual conversation I had with a waitress at a well known Tel-Aviv restaurant after receiving food that was less than desirable:
Waitress: “How was everything sir?”
Me: “Actually, it wasn’t to my liking.”
Instead of apologizing and asking me to elaborate as to why I was disappointed with my meal, she immediately went on the defensive.
Waitress: “For someone who did not like it you sure ate a lot of it.”
I felt like telling her that I gave it to the dog tied up outside or that I was a food critic for the local newspaper and I wanted to bring samples back to show how awful the food was. But I restrained myself. I simply told her that I was disappointed with the quality of the food.
Without responding to my comment, she simply handed us the bill and said that it did not include any gratuity. It was clear that she didn’t really care whether or not I was a happy customer. She was only concerned about getting a tip. Unfazed, she shrugged her shoulders and walked away. This is a typical response to criticism within the Israeli culture.
The Brazilian culture is another story. Brazilians are known for being very hospitable caring fun people. When they ask you how you enjoyed everything they really care about your response – As long as your response is positive.
A negative response or any type of criticism will automatically trigger a denial response.
During my last trip to Brazil when I rented an apartment, from an Internet ad, for a few days, I was not satisfied with not only the cleanliness of the apartment but the location was a very misleading.
The last day of my rental, the property owner came by to pick up the keys. Despite her being several hours early she seemed upbeat and friendly, even apologizing for being early but not really been sorry or giving me any option but to leave earlier.
She asked me if I had a good time and if everything was fine. I hesitated but decided to tell her the truth. I told her that the location was near the location she described online but in fact, it is in another neighborhood. Instantly her demeanor changed. She reached into her purse and showed me a letter that was addressed to the apartment that I was staying in. She pointed out that the zip code was the same zip code of the fancy more upscale neighborhood. Technically she had a point based on the zip code, but clearly, she was wrong. The nicer neighborhood was a few blocks away. Her apartment was in a poor unkempt neighborhood.
She quickly tried to change the subject and asked me how I enjoyed the apartment itself. I think she asked me this because she was sure that my response was going to be positive. Although the apartment was spacious it was very dirty. Once again I hesitated but decided to tell her the truth. I pointed out the lack of cleanliness with the apartment even showing her some remnants of ants, cock roaches and even some fleas. She seemed to be in denial. She tried to convince me that what I showed her was not from bugs. After realizing that I was not going to win I gave up.
The moral of the story when dealing with both Israelis and Brazilians is to be cautious when giving constructive criticism. It is quite easy to receive a compliment from someone. But, try and give some constructive criticism, be prepared for battle. The best advice I can give you is to avoid conflict at all costs.
Doing business in Brazil and Israel is already difficult and the cultural gap is quite huge. If you are ever asked your opinion on something; do what I do. Pretend your 6 year old daughter has just baked you a birthday cake all by herself, without using any kind of recipe. Your lopsided cake will probably be filled with eggshells, jellybeans and 6 times the required amount of sugar. As she eagerly waits for a compliment while waiting for you to try and eat a piece of her homemade creation, you smile politely, as to not to hurt her feelings, and tell her that it is delicious.
Her response is priceless. This is how I have learned to deal with culture…
