As I wrote in a previous article (A “Sabra” Friendship), alongside our criticism we must remember that Israeli society has plenty of positive aspects. One of its most amazing characteristics is the possibility of forming true and deep friendships, very hard to come by in general.
Robert made aliyah alone at the age of 32, leaving behind friends and family to become an Israeli. He met Rina, a 33-year-old Israeli and, after dating for a short period, they got married. During their eight years of marriage they had four beautiful children.
Robert, a mechanical engineer, was working for a company contracted by the IDF as an engineer in charge of a special unit developing IDF devices and Rina was a dentist, working long hours. They were religious and lived in a settlement in the Shomron.
After their fourth child, Rina began experiencing many health problems, but was so busy she couldn’t afford to “waste” time visiting doctors. However, her condition deteriorated rapidly until she had no choice. It took only a short visit to the doctor and a few tests to diagnose a brain tumor. Her chances weren’t very good and the prognosis was not optimistic.
Rina and Robert were strong people and they tried to keep their life on as normal a path as possible, but the treatments were intense and they needed help. Robert had no family in Israel and Rina’s family could help only minimally because they were elderly and lived a distance away.
Robert very often missed work; the children couldn’t stay alone, the house was a mess and Rina could function only sporadically between the highly stressful treatments. They desperately needed support and friendship.
Two weeks after Rina’s first treatment, Robert was called to his manager’s office and was told to take a vacation for the following three months. He was in shock! He needed the salary, he was a very good worker and everyone loved him. His boss told him that – despite company policy – he could keep his company car for the period. Robert was confused and very upset. He received a letter from the manager and left the office in a foul mood.
When he arrived home, Robert read the letter. It was short and concise, confirming that he would be on a “forced vacation” for the next three months. What he did not expect was that he would continue to receive his full salary, in addition to the use of the company car. Every one of his colleagues had donated two or more days of their vacation time to Robert. He could stay at home and take care of his family.
The family knew they would get help from neighbors, but what they actually received were new family members. Nourishing meals were delivered weekly and Shabbat was never at home while Rina could walk to neighbors. Adolescents from throughout the yishuv would come daily to take the children to the park, to the library and wherever else possible to give them a good time, leaving their parents with a few hours’ private time. The family was embraced by the entire community. They had whom to rely on for every one of their needs.
Rina passed away a year after her diagnosis, leaving Robert a widower with four children.
Robert was adopted by his yishuv, by his coworkers, by the social workers and by Rina’s family. He was grateful – and honored – to be part of such a beautiful community.
Robert remarried three years after Rina’s passing, following much pressure from Rina’s family. They understood that the children needed a mother and Robert needed to rebuild his life.
Robert has since created a fund for cancer patients and has done a lot of chesed for his family and his community.
Israelis are what they are: Real “Sabras” – full of thorns on the outside but sweet and tender on the inside.
